Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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