we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
