That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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