what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
