this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
