thus making me awesome and them whores
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
