You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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