remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
