i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
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I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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