I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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