Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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