cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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