Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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