whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
