I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
