she's into porn, im staying here tonight
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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