Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
