I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I will die if light touches me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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