Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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