Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
