so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize