I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
is it fun? or sober?
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