So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
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I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
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Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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