I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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