hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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