I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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