The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
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It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
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Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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