It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
