This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
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Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
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As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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