I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
