when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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