so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
