Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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