I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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