This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
