well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize