Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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