Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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