If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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