and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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