i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
