You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
