Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
