your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I can tuck mytits in my pants
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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