Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
