____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
