I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
