Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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