we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
