Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
