every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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