I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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