meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Green mimosas i think yes
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
