Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize