honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize