I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I cut my penus on the lid.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
