I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
