Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
