Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
