fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize