I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
