OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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