I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
