I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
