I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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