She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
should my penis look like a turkey
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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