Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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